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The Warehouse Job
Act 1: Endless Leverage Warehouse "Just saying, you're better off with Twisted Fate, he's more your play style..." Blaine said as he watched over Claudia's shoulder as she was rapidly clicking through her game of League of Legends. It had been a tad slow after their 'Warehouse Idol', and Blaine was teaching Claudia how to effectively play League. "No backseating driving Bisty, I don't tell you how to how to poke and prod the others about how their powers work." she said as a turret carelessly wiped Ashe off the map. "Told you." Claudia was about to quip back, but an alarm on the nearby computer sprang to life, drawing the two geeks' attention. Rolling over to it, Claudia tapped a few keys and brought up a diagnostic report, "Strange, someone tried to breach our firewalls, but they got shut down early on." Blaine came up behind, shutting the game down, "I thought the only person who came the closest to hacking us was you. Hell, even Fargo only heard rumors of us." "Yeah...that's what worries me." Claudia grabbed a print out, "Let's show Artie." Leverage Consulting & Associates, Portland "Our client is Jasmine MacMillian," Alec Hardison clicked his remote as the six screens sprung to life, "Last week, she says that a few 'secret service' agents came to her family's house and took away a family heirloom after her son was arrested for bank robbery." Clicking the remote again, pictures of a small 'Lucky Cat' figurine and two agents popped up on their screen. "I'm getting the feeling that these weren't actual Secret Service agents." Sophie Devereaux inquired as she eyed up the pictures of a man and a woman talking into an unusual device about the size of a metal pencil case. "No, they're Secret Service..." Elliot Spencer shook his head. The others turned to look at him, "Their slacks, they're very distinct pants." Hardison looked between the two of them, "Well, yes...and no. These here are Pete Lattimer and Myka Bering. Turns out that they were Secret Service, but were seemingly laid-off a few years ago. They fell off the face of the earth. Hell, I couldn't even find them until I ran facial recognition." "So, what does this have to do with the heirloom?" Parker asked. Hardison smile, "Glad you asked." Pressing the button again, a bunch of paper files came on-screen, "You see, I managed to dig around in the government's employee database, and it turns out that they got sent to South Dakota to work for the IRS filing away every people's tax returns." Sophie cocked her head in confusion, "Why would you send trained agents to be IRS desk jockeys? It seems insulting." "Ah, that's where it gets interesting." Hardison smiled, "This warehouse that's supposed to be storing audits is getting some hefty funding." A specific file enlarged for the others to see, "I was able to follow the money through several shells, including a top-secret Black Ops fund. Whatever the heck this place is, the government sure as hell doesn't want anyone to know about it." "So wait..." Sophie stopped him, "We're going after the government...again?" "No, we're not." Nate Ford cut in, "We're simply going in, retrieving the cat, and getting out. We weren't hired to expose whatever the IRS is hiding." "That's nice and all," Parker replied, "but I can't break in unless there's an actual place to break in to." "Got you covered," Hardison nodded as a series of satellite images of barren wasteland sprang up on the screen, "I give you sector K39ZZZ, also known as the middle of nowhere." Nate was confused, "What are we looking at?" "This here is the middle of the badlands in South Dakota. Closet town is an unnamed, unincorporated town 7 miles away, after that it's 90 miles to Featherhead. There's nothing out here beyond that." "Perfect place to hide something." Eliot nodded, "When do we leave?" "Plane leaves in a few hours." Nate stood up and looked around at the others, "Well then, let's go steal a warehouse." Warehouse After a bit of looking, the two agents were able to find Artie taking inventory in the Music Corner, muttering to himself as he was hauling the Xenon Dance Floor to the opposite end of the aisle from the Studio 54 Disco Ball. "Sweating to the oldies I see." Claudia laughed as she and Blaine walked up to him. The senior Warehouse Agent glanced back at her with a furrowed brow, "When you get to be my age, anything like this is a workout. You mind?" He nodded at Blaine who took up the other end of the disco flooring. "Clearly you didn't come here to help me, what's the matter?" Claudia placed the printout on top of the flooring so Artie could see, "Someone tried to break into our system just now. Got stopped by a firewall that I didn't even know existed. Care to explain?" As Artie looked the paper over, his face grew a bit pale, "No...no no no!" He quickly dropped his end of the floor, but Claudia grabbed it before it smashed on the floor, but as she looked back at Artie, he was already on his Segway headed for his office. "This isn't good." Claudia frowned, setting her side of the dance floor down, "How long do you think it'll take you to get us back to the office with those fairy wings of yours?" Blaine set his end down, "First off, they're Spriggan wings, major difference between fairies and spriggans; next, we should get there about a few minutes before him, let's go." ---- Rushing up the steps, Artie was already going through ideas on who he should let in on this. Getting the door open, he almost barreled right into Claudia and Blaine, "Going somewhere Artie?" "As a matter of fact yes," He said pushing between the two of them, "Now if you don't mind, I have to get to work on defending the Warehouse." Claudia did a double-take as she followed Artie into his bedroom, "Wait, 'defend' the Warehouse? Shouldn't I be let in on something about this Artie?" Grabbing a suitcase, he began stuffing it with clothes, "Yes, and that's why you and a few others are staying, every one else is going on missions. I don't care how small the ping, GO!" Blaine scrunched up his face, "Wait, I can help. I can pull a few favors in Eureka and-" Artie finished packing and tossed it to him, "No. It's final. You and the rest of HARP are going to Juno. Escher too. Bye." Artie grabbed his suitcase and pushed him out of the room and shut the door behind him. Claudia gave him a stern look, "Artie what is so important about this hacker that has you so riled up?" Artie turned to her and pointed to the bed, "Sit, time for you to hear a story." As she sat, Artie took a seat across from her, "A few years before you, Pete, or Myka came to the Warehouse, I was on a Ping trying to get the remains of the TWA Flight 800 before they got used by a aerospace company to build new planes. Didn't want planes randomly blowing up in the sky. "I used Paul Ekman's Nesting Dolls to get more work done over time, but I wasn't counting on the clone that manifested anger to actually become one of the heads of Bering Aerospace. When I found the company that would've used the artifact in their planes, I had the copy hire three thieves and a former insurance agent to steal the designs for their new plane. While they stole the designs, I managed to secure the artifact in an abandoned warehouse. "Things went south when the copy didn't pay them and used the artifact to attempt to kill the crew he hired. I didn't get a chance to neutralize the artifact since the copy had it on him when he was arrested. Three years I had to go without feeling anger, but when the copy was finally released from jail, I was able to steal it back and neutralize it." Claudia nodded calmly, trying to take this all in, "Okay, so there's been more than one Evil Artie...but you really think that after all this time they'd finally come for you?" "I don't know Claudia, and that's why I have to leave until this all blows over. Get Aden, Bri, Matt, and Felix here now. I'm brief you all on what to do once they get here..." Con of Wonder Univlille "It looks like we drove right into a 1950s sitcom..." Eliot muttered as they walked past Hardware Store, "I think that shop back there had a 'pe' added onto the end of it's name." Sophie smiled as she looked at the park and it's glistening fountain, "I rather like it, nice little place to duck into if the police were on my trail." Nate and his Crew had arrived in Univile a half hour ago. While Hardison attempted to get a decent wi-fi signal, the Eliot and Sophie were taking a stroll around town while Nate and Park began setting up the con. "Reminds me of this small town in the outskirts of Tuscany," Sophie went on, "I hid there after a run-in with Nate. They had the most delightful-" "One, two, one two." Hardison's voice came in through her ear bud, "Had to reposition a few satellites, but I got these things working, plus I'm streaming the latest Dr. Who with ease. Nate, are we ready to start?" Back at the van parked outside a diner, Nate nodded, "Ready on our end...let's go shoot a documentary." Warehouse "Okay, so beyond my bizzaro counterpart who else is trying to break into the Warehouse?" Claudia, Aden, Felix, and the two HARP Consultants sat around the table as Artie handed out blue folders, one to each of them. It was the first time that they had all really worked together on a mission in this combination. Typically, HARP didn't interact with what they called 'Warehouse Elite'; Pete, Myka, and Artie. Artie readjusted his glasses, "He's not just your counterpart, Alec Hardison is a hacker who has hacked FBI, NSA, CIA, and a dozen other list of acronyms. Only reason I was able to keep him from our files was because I had a program specifically designed to block his style of hacking." Claudia shrugged and leaned back, "I'm sure I could show him a thing or two." Artie shook his head, "No, no, you don't get to 'show him a thing or two'. This man managed to out-wit a Steranko, twice!" This got Claudia's attention, making her sit up. Bri tilted her head, "What's a Steranko?" "A Steranko is the most advanced security system on the planet." Claudia replied, "I've been nagging Blaine to get me one from Global to install in the Warehouse, but nothing. Look, if he managed that, then we're facing with some real experts." Matt opened his file, "You're telling me. I have a one Eliot Spencer..." He trailed off reading the list of past employers...and the list of injuries left in his wake, "This guy is a one-man army. I'm looking at pictures of a shoot out in DC this guy had...this isn't a pretty picture. Then there's the list of fighting styles this guy knows. MMA, Boxing, Krav Maga, Kickboxing...I can't even pronounce the rest of these." Matt looked up at him, "You expect me to take him on?" Artie glared at him, "You have downside negation abilities, use them!" Matt rolled his eyes and kept scanning the the papers. Bri raised her hand, "What's so dangerous about Sophie Devereaux? I don't think a person can just talk their way into the Warehouse." Artie shook his head, "No, Sophie Devereaux is one of the best grifters who has walked the earth. She is a master of hiding in plain sight. She speaks 8 languages, is skilled with dialects, and has faked royalty several times over. She has used this to con thousands of dollars, including The Second David and The Stanley Cup." Bri just looked at him flatly, "And I compare how?" Artie looked her in the eyes, "She relies on skill, you have Finch's Pocketwatch and Berkley's Whip. She has to work to gain people's trust, you don't have to go through that process." Felix laughed to himself, "Well, you did manage to wrap Tyler around your finger..." Bri glared at him and delivered a sharp elbow to the chest, "Ow!" Shooting the two of them a hard look, Artie grumbled, "...Moving right along..." He focused on Felix, "Felix, I have you up against Parker." At the sound of the name, his eyes went wide, "Parker...you hired the Parker?" Artie grunted, "Yes Cat-boy, the Parker." ' ' Matt tilted his head, "What is he, heir to the Parker Brothers Fortune?" Felix shook his head, "Parker is extremely respected in the world of thieves. She's stolen more gems than what's in the Crown Jewels. Whatever defenses this Hardison guy doesn't disable, she'll get around. Rumor has it that she broke into a museum vault using nothing but tinfoil and ice." "And that's why she's potentially the most dangerous of them once she's in here." Artie said, "The last thing we need is to have her walking out of here with a bag full of artifacts." Aden, who had been sitting at the head of the table nodded, "We won't let that happen." Everyone turned to him, up until now he had been silently reading his file, "Nate Ford may know cons inside and out, but he's never faced a God Tier before." Artie nodded to him, and then turned to the others to explain, "Nate Ford is their mastermind. Before taking on running this crew of thieves, he was an insurance investigator with IYS, but left after they refused to pay for his son's treatments that resulted in his death. I specifically chose him all those years ago since I knew that the other company was insured by IYS and he wanted to stick it to them. What I wasn't expecting was for him to rally them against me and keep them running for all these years..." Warehouse "Alright, everyone else has cleared out, Trailer and Shodi are in a kennel and the Old Bone gang are in stasis in the Etir pools. It's just us five." Aden, Bri, Felix, Claudia and Matt were gathered in the main office, sitting around a large table. Artie had left once every other agent had been dispatched on pings, and left Aden in charge. "So as far as we know, they don't know what we really do here, right?" Matt inquired. "Right. Artie was very clear. We keep them away as much as possible and when they get in, we keep artifact interaction to a minimum." Claudia perked up with a confused expression. "Wait, don't you mean 'if' they get in?" "No, Artie seemed pretty adamant that this Parker would get through whatever we can throw at her. That's where you," he pointed at Felix, who looked uncharacteristically alert, "come in. If Claudia can't keep them out from inside, you cut them off when they get in. He didn't leave you any real instructions, just said you'd figure something out." Leena's Bed & Breakfast Abigail was watering the plants, thinking to herself how quiet the B&B was when none of the other Warehouse Staff was around. Typically at least one of the Agents or Consultants was in doing small stuff such as reading, watching TV, trying to cook and almost setting the kitchen on fire... It was the sharp knocking at the front door that snapped Abigail back to reality, almost spilling her watering can. All the agents are out on pings, and none of the other people in town have a reason to stop in... That's when it dawned on her, You can't be serious, actual tourists? '' Stashing the watering can away, Abigail straightened her outfit out and hurried to the door. Opening it, she found a party of five outside the door, one held a camera, another a piece of a lighting set, while a third carried what she assumed was a portable sound mixer. A short haired man in round glasses extended a hand to Abigail, "Hi, Kenneth Randall of Randall Film Productions." Abigail reached out and shook his hand, a confused look across her face, "I'm filming a documentary about the untouched beauty of small towns across America when we happened across this little gem. Mind if we come in?" Flashback: Leverage HQ, "Getting Into The B&B" "Okay Nate, this was all I could get before the Warehouse's software shut me out. Tell me you have a way in." Hardison said as he took a seat, letting Nate take the floor. "Perhaps..." Nate looked the images over, namely a few pictures of Univille itself, "Our client told us that there's a business in town that has an access route directly to the Warehouse, and that business is the only hotel in in town, Leena's Bed & Breakfast." He looked back at his crew, "If we want into that Bed and Breakfast, we'll have to check-in." Eliot shook his head, "Hardison already said that there's nothing important within a hundred miles of the place, there's no reason five people would check-in all at the exact same time." Nate smiled, "In that case, we make a reason to be there. Remember that documentary crew we ran into at Good Cheer?" Leena's B&B, Dining Room Abigail lead Kenneth and his crew (Larry Thomas, the editor; Brittney Sherwood, the camerawoman; Marvin Driver, the sound recorder; and Samantha Patterson, lights and makeup specialist) to the dining room, "Can I get you all something to drink?" "I'll take a glass of brandy, if you have some," Kenneth asked for as the rest of the crew added in their own orders. Abigail took note of them and went into the kitchen. Once sure she was out of earshot 'Kenneth' switched tones, "Okay, first step, find that access route. Parker, I need you to get a tour of the place, scan for any thing that just doesn't fit." 'Brittney' cracked her neck, "I'll try, but I still don't get why I'm the one stuck with the camera Nate. Eliot's the one built to carry this much." 'Larry' shot her a look, "Do we have to bring up that time you stabbed a guy with a fork? No offense Parker, but grifting isn't your strong suit. Leave the talking to Sophie and Nate." ---- Abigail moved hastily away from the dining room and got out a set of glasses and mugs. She poured a shot of whiskey into one and then, after slight consideration, downed it herself. In a world of endless wonder, it seemed odd that no-one had briefed her on what to do if actual guests had arrived. She got to work on the various beverages in silence, contemplating on how long these people would stay and how Artie would react. She nearly dropped a mug of jasmine tea when a Farnsworth went off next to her. Apparently Leena had kept one lying around the kitchen in case Artie wanted to request cookies before he got in. "Jesus, Aden, you scared the hell out of me!" she hissed as the face of the bespectacled agent popped onto the screen. "Listen, there are people here. Like, real people. Documentary film crew or something. What do I do?" "Calm down Abi, just keep them busy," he replied in what he hoped was a calming voice. "They're here to try and break into the Warehouse. we're getting ready for them as best we can, but buy as as much time as possible. Recommend some local things, do innkeeper stuff. Just keep them there as long as you can." As his face flickered away, Abigail sighed. "This is Univille," she murmured to herself. "There are no local activities!" She poured herself another shot of whiskey, then picked up the tray of beverages and shuffled back into the dining room. ------ Seeing their hostess come back in, the Crew hushed up and thanked her, "Thank you very much miss.." "Abigail," Abigail responded handing 'Kenneth' his brandy, "Abigail Cho." 'Samantha' tilted her head, "But the sign outside says ''Leena's B&B. ''What happened to the previous owner?" Abigail kept herself composed, at least the Warehouse had briefed her on how to explain how she came to run the B&B. "The previous owner, Leena, she had an unfortunate accident. She was a victim of a mugging gone wrong." She paused for effect. Technically this wasn't a lie...Artie had been stealing artifacts and she was an unfortunate victim, "She tried to calm him down, but the mugger...." She cut herself off and took a seat herself and took a deep breath, "The B&B was on the market and I always had a dream of running my own, so I bought the place to keep it from being torn down." 'Larry' nodded, "We'll make sure that we feature the B&B and you in the film. A woman following her dream, what do you think Kenneth?" Setting his glass down after a sip, Kenneth nodded, "Always sells." He then turned his attention back to Abigail, "Tell me, could we get a tour of this wonderful place? Will help us figure out where we should film our segments." Abigail took another deep breath, the last thing she needed was to have them wandering around the B&B and finding the path into the Warehouse. Quickly standing up, she attempted to steer them back into Univille, "You sure you don't want to take a look around the rest of town first? Univille has plenty more gems than just the B&B. The ice cream parlor hand-cranks their own ice cream, the diner makes some of the best pie in the Dakotas...." Kenneth shrugged and stood up as well, "How about this, I leave the girls here to scout out the best places while I take the guys around the rest of town. Any chance we could meet up for dinner?" Abigail nodded, "Of course, how does fried chicken sound tonight?" Univille Diner "How are we doing on that stream?" Nate asked as he took a seat across from Hardison in the corner booth. The hacker held up his hand, "Almost set. That camera Parker has is set up to remotely broadcast it's signal to my laptop here..." Hardison tapped a few more keys and spun the laptop for him to see, "Boom, on virtual tour of Leena's Bed & Breakfast." On screen, the camera shakily followed Ms. Cho on her way through the halls as she gave Parker and Sophie a tour. "What exactly are we looking for?" Hardison asked as he glanced over at Eliot who was talking with one of the waitresses, supposedly about their 'documentary', but the way she was giggling, Hardison knew he was trying to get a free piece of pie. The mastermind leaned in and watched closely, "Anything that doesn't fit...wall seams, fake fireplaces, full length mirrors or paintings, things like that." "So Parker could just pull one of those wall scones and a secret door would open?" Hardison asked inquisitively. "Don't be riduculus, that's only in the movies." Eliot walked back over and slid in next to Hardison, a slice of pie in hand "You guys have got to try this strawberry pie. Abigail wasn't lying." Hardison started to reach for the pie, but Eliot pulled it away, "Get your own Hardison." The hacker looked at him, "You flirted your way to get that." "Yeah, so?" Eliot said pulling the pie out of his reach, "This is my slice of pie. It's not like it's in the fridge for anyone to eat." Hardison glared at him, "Seriously? You are ''still caught up about that sandwich? I made you a new one!" Nate rolled his eyes as his teammates bickered and went back to the laptop in front of him... Leena's B&B "Over here is our sitting room, we have over 400 channels available for your viewing pleasure." Abigail said as she lead 'Samantha' and 'Brittney' into the lounge, "Leena made sure that even all the way out here that her guests be able to keep up with current events." Samantha was over checking the light by the open windows while Brittney was over by the fireplace, poking the camera around there. Out of all of her five 'guests', Brittney was the oddest one of them all; first when she was eying up the silverware earlier, and now she was poking her camera in all sorts of weird places. "Can I help you Brittney?" Abigail asked, stepping towards her. The blond woman looked up, "Does the fireplace work?" Her question seemed more like a demand to Abigail. "Yes it does, we tend to only use it on holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving..." Abigail trailed off as Brittney went back to the fireplace, pointing the camera up the chimney. I highly doubt that this one is capable of robbing the Warehouse...give her some tinfoil she'd be fine. Abigail thought as she checked on Samantha. -------- Once Abigail was out of earshot, Parker muttered into her earpiece, "Nate, we've been through half the house, and we've got nothing. No hallow walls, no loose floorboards, no fake fireplaces..." Hardison's voice came over the com, "You try pulling wall scones yet?" Parker scoffed and rolled her eyes, "That's only in the movies." There was a pause, then Nate's voice came on, "Try having her take you to oldest place in the building. Pantry, basement, cellar; where ever this passage is, it'd be there." Parker sighed and pulled herself out of the sooty fireplace and called over to Abigail and Sophie, "What's the oldest place in the house?" Abigail was a bit caught off guard, "Well...there's a small wine cellar behind the stair case. We mainly use it as a pantry now. If you're thinking of shooting in there, it's far too dark and cramped." Before Parker could ask anymore, Samantha cut in, "What I think Brittney was talking about was that it'd wonderful to get footage of the more historical areas of the B&B, giving it a rustic feel." Abigail raised an eyebrow, but kept calm, "Well, that makes sense. How about we continue this after dinner? If you'll get your bags, I'll show you to your rooms." -------- The women nodded and started out to their van to collect their bags. As soon as they had left the lounge, Abigail bolted for the kitchen and dug out her Farnsworth and clicked it on, "Aden, you there?" The Space mage looked up from the contraption he and Felix were working on, "What is it?" "I have them busy for now, but I'm going to need help with dinner." Abigail said as she started to pull out different ingredients. "Abi, you've cooked for the lot of us dozens of times, more if you include take-out." Aden replied, "What's different?" Abigail shot daggers at him, "I'm making dinner for people who are going to try to rob the Warehouse, I'm trying to not let them know that I'm onto them, and oh yeah, the fact that the Warehouse isn't supposed to exist! I'm freaking out over here!" Aden sighed, "I'll send Bri up with Cutthroat Kitchen's Hatchet. Should help the two of you keep your nerves as you make dinner. Neutralize it every thirty minutes, otherwise you might wind up using Lucky Charms for your breading." With that the Farnsworth blinked off as the sound of the front door opening reached her ears. Back at the Warehouse Bri's car could be heard driving away from the Warehouseas the remaining agents continued their preperations. Aden sighed and adressed the group. "Abby said they've been poking around the pantry area. They're sticking their camera into every area that might be suspiscious. If they keep this up, they'll find the secret entrance eventually." Felix cocked his head. "I thought there were only four ways in. The main door, the cave of wonders, the Hong Kong portal and the large artifact entrance. None of those are near the B&B." "Yeah, but after the incident with Paracelcus, Artie wanted to set up a direct line of travel in case he needed to get into the Warehouse in an emergency. He got permission to use Charles Pearson's Tin-Can Telephone, with one end hidden in the B&B's pantry. It worked pretty well, a tin can in a pantry wouldn't attract attention and being underground seems to make it slightly faster, too." "Oh, so them exploring is a pretty bad idea. Still what are the chances that they pick up one can out of dozens?" "If you have to ask, you haven't been here long enough." said Aden, with another sigh. "Anyway, I figure we have until Abby goes to bed for them to start digging harder. Given it's a Saturday and Face Off is on tonight, she should be heading upstairs around 10. Bri's there, so she can let us know if they get close to finding anything. I think if we have everything set up by 9:45, we should be ready for them." Claudia lifted her head up from the screen in front of her. "Piece of cake. I've set up Hugo's turrets outside the Warehouse to stun instead of kill, and the rest are on a motion-detecting camera system, so we can keep track of the if they get in." "And I have most of the Woodstock speakers set up, I just need to hook them all together and find out how to avoid us being whammied, too." Felix picked up a crate of wire spools and a set of records and walked out of the office. Matt came in right after, "I borrowed some of the Prada mannequins from Felix and thought I'd put them in these Shaolin robes. Should make them a force to be reckoned with." Aden looked over all of the security measures his team had come up with. "This is good, if this all works then they don't stand much of a chance."